Monday, March 31, 2008

Dear Eve

I was having a wonderful night tonight – met with all the freshman who want to become SWAT leaders and it was great and I just felt enthusiastic and buoyant and excited about the world. And I thought of you and how excited you always were and started looking at one of your facebook albums and now I can’t stop crying. You were so amazing and vibrant and alive and now you’re dead and it’s just so wrong.

I think you were in DC the same time I was…I recognize the onion article. I didn’t know. If I had known, I imagine we would have said we’d meet up and then not actually done it because both of us were too busy. And I would have felt a teeny bit of resentment at you, and you would have probably felt nothing negative at all towards me because you were a better person than I was, then I am. Every little thing I do that is good – being friendly, being honest, being random, being excited – feels a little bit like I’m acting in honor of you. They talked about you today at the Chelsea Clinton speech. How you would have been so happy, because you had wanted and tried so hard to have a presidential campaign come to Carolina. It was wonderful. But it’s not fair that you didn’t get to be happy about it, didn’t get to see, don’t get to hope and work and try to do other wonderful things ever again.

I don’t know how your close friends do it. You were only a tiny sliver of my life and sometimes it still just hurts so much that you’re gone. Life is so beautiful and sad.

I still can’t stop crying. I’m so sorry Eve. I miss you.



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